Faaaaaail

[restitutus]

[ Ambrose was prepared for dealing with quite a lot of oddness when he decided to give this whole dating Morgan thing a try, but there were a few things he just didn't see coming, and not all of them were in the "can still deal" category. ]

Darling, there is something I've been meaning to talk to you about...

Comments

I AM SO READY FOR THE FAIL

[dimscua]

( Her dreams had taken a turn for the decidedly strange ever since he had first crossed her path, and it would be a lie to say that actually getting a date, and now a kind of tentative relationship, out of him, had helped any with those. The Something that had lurked somewhere in the shadows for as long as she can remember has moved forward, just into the corner of her eyes, of her mind, but she couldn't put a name to it now anymore than she could before.

What she can do, however, is to be very forcefully alive in the Now, not the (as she will aggressively argue 'fake') past her dreams are busily constructing. Maybe a bit too forcefully. Maybe that 'tentative' up there somewhere isn't at all tentative in reality.

Look, plenty of people call their boyfriends 'Daddy'. It seemed like a good, modern day thing to do. )

It's not the mess I made of your kitchen, is it?

[restitutus]

[ She isn't the only one having strange dreams, but if there is one thing Ambrose Falcon is good at, it is denial, so he is paying all that nonsense no heed.

As for the daddy issue (pun intended), it may be modern but it is still very much something he would have appreciated a heads up about before he was expected to maintain an erection in the face of it. ]

What did you... Never mind, no, it's not about the kitchen. It's more about the... uh, bedroom.

[dimscua]

( Don't worry about the kitchen, Ambrose. It's nothing that an hour of deep cleaning and the purchase of a whole new pot can't fix.

Anyway, he does have her undivided attention now, in part because she is a few miles of in her predictions regarding what this is going to be about. She is a bit nervous about this, he can tell from the way she shifts in her seat. )

Y'know, I googled it, and it really does happen to a ton of guys. Maybe you're just a bit stressed? I could give you a massage...

( And there's absolutely no doubt about where she would take that. )

[restitutus]

[ Well, there goes what little remained of his masculine pride. Not that he doesn't sort of get where she got her idea from but still, that burned, even if she is trying to be sweet about it. ]

That's not... I mean, I don't usually...

[ Okay, time to just say it. ]

Darling, you called me Daddy.

[dimscua]

( Her expression is blank – not blank in the 'overcome by any reasonable emotion' sense, no, definitely blank in the 'absolutely doesn't see the problem' sense. )

And... that's a problem?

[restitutus]

Well, consenting adults can of course do whatever they want but... I mean, how would you feel if I called you Mommy out of the blue?

[ Please let her see the point so he can stop elaborating. ]

[dimscua]

( Luckily, it does seem to be dawning on her –– )

Arguably, you're far better 'Daddy' material than I'm a 'Mommy'. ( –– Morgan, no. ) But I get what you're saying. I should have asked?

[restitutus]

I'm not even sure I understand what that means, but I probably don't want to. Yes, you should have asked.

[ Progress! Disturbing progress, but still! ]

[dimscua]

( There are some lines Morgan struggles with – the one between 'captivating' and 'clingy', and the one between 'interesting' and 'exceedingly and disturbingly strange', to name to examples.

'Good timing' and 'bad timing' also work. )

If you probably don't want the explanation, I guess that, if I were to ask, the answer wouldn't necessarily be a yes?

[restitutus]

[ Ambrose pinches the bridge of his nose, quite certain that he can detect the embryo of a headache somewhere behind his eyeballs. ]

You know what, we probably shouldn't just brush this aside if it is something that you are... interested in. Go ahead, tell me.

THE AWKWARD

[dimscua]

( Oh, she very clearly hasn't actually thought about the explanation before, and now, she's obviously unable to mentally start at the very beginning – the non-existing relationship with her father that leads her down a path of daddy issues – so she is trying to get there the other way around. )

There's no way to tell your boyfriend that he'd make a decent father figure without sounding pregnant or otherwise fucked up.

( She's about 70% aware of saying that out loud. )

Maybe my boner-killing heat in the moment idiocy is more a BDSM type craving, but I got wires crossed between 'person I would trust with that' and 'almost comical daddy issues'?

[restitutus]

Obviously I am very glad that you trust me, but... I'm not entirely sure what sort of response would have been your desired outcome? It's not the sort of thing I have a great deal of experience with.

[ Somehow in the back of his mind, a little voice is telling him that he should have seen this coming. ]

[dimscua]

I'm starting to feel like you think I had way, way more of a plan than I actually did.

( She doesn't end the sentence with the term 'mid-fuck', but it's heavily implied. Thing is, she has started to feel like she should have plans – Plans, even – it just hasn't translated into reality yet.

And maybe his bedroom wasn't the place to start making them, anyway. Especially not on her own. )

But you know, that drive for preparedness is probably what could be called a 'Daddy'-like feature.

[restitutus]

[ Yup, definitely getting a headache. ]

Okay, before we take this conversation any further we need to make it very clear whether we are talking about my ability to raise a child or some kind of kink scenario because those two things really need to be kept very separate.

[dimscua]

( Okay, even Morgan knows that this conversation is a complete trainwreck, which shouldn't inspire her to show her sense of humour, but there you go, that's why you picked her brother a thousand years ago. )

Since nobody's naked, I'm keeping it ambiguous.

( Now that that is out of her system: )

I'm not talking about raising any children.

[restitutus]

For a second there I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

[ A sense of humour like that should be illegal. ]

Look, I am willing to... experiment a little. But I don't think the Daddy thing is going to work.

[dimscua]

However will I cope? ( She isn't actually being sarcastic as much as she is trying to keep matters fairly light. )

If you want anything, just tell me, okay?

[restitutus]

[ He does actually chuckle a little at that, because his sense of humour is not so far removed from hers as he might try to pretend. ]

I have fairly simple desires.

[dimscua]

I'm not a simple desire.

( She surprised herself by saying it, she wasn't usually the bantering type. )

Does that make you lucky or unlucky?

[restitutus]

A bit of both, I think.

[ Said with a smirk that is almost a little wicked. ]

[dimscua]

( Can't say she wasn't digging that smirk. )

Probably depending on how atrocious my timing can get.